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Today, the California Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. The largest state in The Union now recognizes the marriage (not civil union) of same sex partners. Of course, this draws a lot of attention to this heated issue, as religious groups vow to create a California constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriages.

This is a good reminder about the Jared and Dean Words Cause Radio Show this weekend! We have the founder of Fertility Counseling Services, Kim Bergman, joining us to discuss gay parenting. Of course, we’ll be sure to ask her about this historic day and the impact that it is going to have on her business and the GLBT community as a whole. You don’t want to miss this great show. Catch it live this Sunday at 6PM Pacific!

Of course, you can always hear it here @ wordscause.com and on your iPod or MP3 Player.

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• May 10, 2008 -- We’re Talking Gay Relationships and are Looking for Gay Men to Discuss Their Relationships on our Live Radio Show
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Haven’t you experienced moments, days, maybe even years missing that feeling of excitement, enthusiasm, joy or fulfillment? Starting your work in the morning, doing a project during the day or trying to write an article without success? We sigh, feel frustrated or a bit down when we are not inspired.

The moment when we are connected with that vibrant energy, we seem to glide through our day, multitasking becomes a piece of cake and our spirits are up. We are inspired and our own actions inspire others at the same time. It’s a high level energy that most of us want to hold on to for ever. Can we?

A client of mine contacted me for another coaching session. She felt lost. She wondered if the direction she decided to follow for her new career was the right one. I recognized that feeling immediately. We choose one path which means we exclude many other paths we can not follow simultaneously and so we ask ourselves: are we on the right track? We are not necessarily lost but we get distracted by the other sign posts along the way.

Another experience I’m sure we all have is that we know we are on the right track but we don’t feel inspired. This is something I relate to very well. I love my Soul at Work activities, however there are days that I feel down or not engaged with anything that has to do with personal growth or supporting people. My mind immediately starts to label my feelings: “Well, Marianne this is not right, you should feel excited running your own company, are you sure you want to keep doing that?”, or it tunes into other dark experiences from the past “Remember when you felt like this in your relationship and you quit?”, or it finds a nice down spiral route “You can never inspire anyone if you are not inspired yourself, so what’s the use of Soul at Work?”. These thoughts are my dream bashers united meetings. They love to team up and throw more and more arguments at me to show that I indeed am lost and not on the right track.

The truth is: they are not telling the truth! Lack of inspiration is just that. It’s a moment when we need not to be inspired. It’s a moment for reflection (and not frustration). It’s a moment to welcome that feeling as many others we have during the day. We’re not supposed to argue with that feeling or draw definite conclusions. So what can you do when you feel uninspired?

Here are some tips if you experience the lack of inspiration attack:

1. Acknowledge your feeling by saying out loud “Isn’t it funny: I’m not inspired!” You can also write it down. It’s a fact now and you don’t need to waste energy denying it. Sometimes that’s enough to give your heart the message that you’re listening and to give room for something else
2. Decide to turn your attention inward. Do nothing and sit with the feeling. Be quiet. Sit or lie down and focus on your heart and breath. Just enjoy who you are in that moment, there is no need to find answers, it’s OK how you feel
3. Decide to turn your attention outward: get some fresh air, do some sports, talk to a friend about your lack of inspiration and offer them a chance to inspire you!

The lack of inspiration is not always a sign something is wrong, it’s a signal that you are moving, from one energy level to another. It urges you either to be still and connect with your heart or to take action depending on what feels best. My need to find inspiration in a new career was a repetitive feeling that increased so I had to take action. Now I’m living my dream career and when I’m not inspired I know it’s just that. My inspiration took a break and has put “will be back soon” on my heart’s door. Give yourself that break and trust that spirit will find you!

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Like this is going to be a serious show! Dean and I are going to tackle the knuckle dragger myths of Man Laws and other propaganda of dudeology. You’ll hear to very different opinions about certain Man Laws. For example, here is a common Man Law misconception:

You have a three urinal situation with the left and right occupied. It is often argued that you should wait in line for the left or the right urinal patron to finish. I believe this is Man Law Mythology! Real men are secure with their sexuality and their unit (no matter how big or small). Urinating standing next to another man does not violate Man Law. In fact, waiting for either of the urinal patrons to finish is a sign of insecurity, which is not manly!

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• May 13, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 5/11/08
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Citing that the city’s power supply is largely derived from renewable resources, natural gas and nuclear plants, Squatriglia poses this project as a greener alternative to the conventional means of personal travel (gasoline). Moreover, the compact geography of the city makes the electric vehicle more practical for the city’s population than perhaps other metropolitan areas like Los Angeles.

Most of our readers recall Jared Tracy’s argument that the electric car simply displaces or exacerbates the greenhouse gas emission we are desperately trying to reduce. I think that in this situation, San Francisco is onto something.

This proposal is not without its issues.  Many San Francisco residents opt out of car ownership all together and are heavy users of public transportation.  Will this project compel people to purchase a car, compounding the city’s congestion issues?  Will this actually off set energy consumption or increase it.  Or will this be used as an alternative means of offsetting single source energy for transportation?

I think its worthy of debate and its worthy of open minded consideration.  In my opinion, I think giving this project a shot might open the doors to advances in technology and innovation.  I also believe that we should not rule out the electric car as another means of transportation simply because it’s not a single, sole solution. Again, like I said before, diversity seems like the right choice. 

What do you think?

~DK

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• Why did we let Arkansas back into The Union after it seceded from the union in 1861?
• Killer balloons threaten California security!
• Dean learns a few things about taking care of his wife
• Learn about “The Region“
• Whales cause power outages
• Jared sticks his foot in his mouth!
• We need to ban gophers
• What does an Iraq War vet do when she keeps finding men who are latent homosexuals?
• Help Save the Balloons!
• Dean and I are looking for a gay man
• The co-founder of Single Tease talks about breaking the ice and getting hit on by 65 year-old men
• I share about what women want and score a 100% mark from a married mother of three!
• We learn a spicy tip for keeping a marriage hot, even after the father in-law moves in
• And so much more!

Don’t forget to tune into the Week in History portion of the show towards the end of the show. You might just learn something!

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• May 9, 2008 -- Healthy Relationships: How Rocky Relationships Can Turn Into Something Unexpected
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• May 13, 2008 -- 10 Things Women Want. Advice from a Man Who Seems to Know!
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• April 27, 2008 -- Rerepublicanize the Republican Party with John McCain
• April 25, 2008 -- Who Is Yankee Doodle Dandy?
• April 13, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 4/12/08
• April 5, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 4/5/08
• March 29, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 3/29/08

Straight out of the Why am I Paying Taxes File, the California State Senate is considering a bill to ban the sale of foil balloons. Citing power outages as a major reason to enforce the ban, the Senate seems to have largely overlooked companies like Enron and are focusing their attention on people that sell happiness and smiles in California. The State Senate also seems to have forgotten about its own law that forbids the sale of foil balloons filled with helium that don’t have a weight to keep them from flying away.

The California Senate released footage of one of the most catastrophic foil balloon incidents in power outage history! Watch the video and listen to Dean and I discuss this ridiculous bill on the Jared and Dean Words Cause Radio Show.

You can help make a difference in this cause against irrational political waste. Get the Facts at the Balloon Council website SavetheBalloons.com and learn how you can support the effort to keep happy in California.

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We are excited to announce that Terri Cheney, author of the best selling book Manic, A Memior will be on the show talking about her book, her illness and how she turned a debilitating illness into an opportunity to help others understand manic depression (bipolar disorder) from inside the mind and body of a person who is bipolar.

I will be writing a lot on the blog about the subject of mental health in the next weeks, so check back soon for updates!

~DK

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Since I did so well with my list of things women want on the Jared and Dean Words Cause Radio Show, I figured that I would share the whole list. These are all fairly simple things to do. The big question is whether you can consistently do all of these things. One of the problems I run into myself is that I don’t consistently do all of these. I’ll do one or two for a week and then another one or two. I’ve found that the key to success is to maintain all 10, consistently.

These 10 tips are not cookie cutter solutions like buying flowers or leaving a romantic note. While those are both examples of things that may earn you some points in your relationship, women are looking for something much deeper than a romantic flower killer.

Here’s what women want (remember, there is no particular order to any of these. You need to do ALL of them):

•  A man who listens. He’ll give advice when needed. Otherwise, he’ll just listen. An important thing here is that you really need to listen carefully because often times she is not going to just come straight out and tell you that she wants advice. It will be cleverly disguised in the conversation that she wants advice. This means you must listen intently!
• A MAN not a boy. This one always gets people. The knee jerk reaction is thoughts about men from “The Man Show” or knuckle dragging, beer guzzling, losers who watch ESPN while wearing a wife-beater with beer and food stains from five years ago. Here’s the thing. The Man Show is a cliché of manhood designed to entertain people and create ad revenue for a television station and catapult the careers of Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla. It did a fine job at both of those, with Jimmy hosting a late night talk show and Adam hosting one of the largest syndicated radio shows in America.

  What I’m referring to with the desire for a man vs. a boy is that men are not clingy, needy, or obnoxious. The obnoxious part really comes from the teenage boy part of our lives. Some of us never seem to outgrow that scared teenage syndrome, so we keep lashing out at the stuff we don’t understand.

  There is a certain amount of sensitivity that a man does need to have. A man should cry under any of the following situations: loss of a close family member, loss of a motorcycle or other important recreational vehicle, when his son or daughter makes him proud, when watching Rudy or perhaps even a chick-flick.

  A man should not cry under these kinds of situations: when someone is mean to him, when his favorite sports team loses (unless you are actually on the team, you shouldn’t cry. It’s just a game that you weren’t even playing!), when he stubs his toe, or when his clothes begin to fade in the laundry.

  Yes, a real man does laundry. If he’s lucky enough, he doesn’t have to! But the only woman who should “have to” do your laundry is your mom. Moms do a boy’s laundry, not a man’s!

• Flirtation. This is probably the one that I have the biggest problem with. Women love their man to flirt with them, just not other women. I’ve got the first part down, and I’m starting to get the second part down! If you have been listening to her and have a solid testosterone undertone, you’ll know exactly how to flirt with your woman. And this is going to drive her wild. It’s a surefire way to keep the relationship exciting!

Where’s the rest of the list? It will be published right here on Words Cause over the next couple of weeks. Something to remember is that these 10 things can be used for good or for evil. Use them responsibly, and enjoy your relationship.

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• May 15, 2008 -- Here’s What Women Want. The Condensed Version
• May 12, 2008 -- What Women Want… An Exploration of What Women Want With a Woman Who’s Been Married for 17 Years
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• May 9, 2008 -- Healthy Relationships: How Rocky Relationships Can Turn Into Something Unexpected
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• May 13, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 5/11/08
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• May 8, 2008 -- New Time for the Words Cause Radio Show: Sunday 6:00 PM PST
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• May 2, 2008 -- Environmentalists and the Problems They Cause
• April 4, 2008 -- Excess, Dependance and the Economy: The “Pussification” of the Suburban Male

P.S. Men! Single Tease has had so much success with the women’s t-shirts that they are expanding into men’s t-shirts. I can’t wait to see what they have!

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It’s an age old question. There are movies about it. There are songs about it. There are scores of books, magazine and newspaper articles, and blogs about it. Still, it seems as though there can never be enough information about this subject.

Often times, the ideas that are proposed in some of the books are controversial for the sake of sales. Claiming that men and women come from different planets is a great way to sell books, but still doesn’t answer the question of what women want.

Dean and I had Rebekah White, host of Heal Yourself Talk, on our show this Mother’s Day to discuss relationships. She’s been married for 17 years and has three children but still manages to keep her relationship spicy. She had some great tips on how to keep the marriage spicy, including visiting the local bar separate from each other and pretending they didn’t know each other! I’m going out and using that one tonight with my girlfriend!

Listen to some of the great tips she also gives on how to make a marriage more enjoyable, even when a father-in-law is living with you.

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Next week is going to be a great show as well. Dean and I are going to be talking about gay and lesbian relationships. We have the owner of Fertility Counseling Services, Kim Bergman, joining us to discuss how her business makes parenting available to people who otherwise wouldn’t be able to have children.

We are looking for a gay male perspective to discuss what gay men are looking for in their relationships. The radio show is a live show, and the guest would need to be available around 7:15PM Pacific for a 10-15 minute interview. If you are interested, please fill out the form below and select Relationships from the Show drop down. Provide us with a quick bio about yourself.

If you have a business or a cause that is making a difference in the gay and lesbian community, please share about how your are involved. Our show is focused on people who are making a difference in the world and causing communities and opportunity around them.

If you are transgender, bi-sexual, or a swinger, we have another show the following week that we’d like to consider you for.

cforms contact form by delicious:days

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Yet, there is one day that stands out above the rest of the days just for my mom. This is a day not marked by sales at Macy’s or discount coupons at 1800flowers.com. It doesn’t come with all the same fanfare as the big national Mother’s Day. This day sit right in the middle of September (the 12th to be exact). It’s my birthday, and the real star of MY birthday was my mom!

I can look forward to turning my proverbial calendar each year because it gives me an opportunity to look back on the last several decades with a humble perspective. My mom doesn’t have any massive labor stories. She didn’t sit in a hospital for 48 hours of contractions. She claims my birth was pretty easy, despite my enormous size (I have a big head). I’ll have to take her word for it because I don’t really remember back that far.

To me, the real Mother’s Day is my birthday. She carried me around for nine months, protecting me, eating right, and making sure I got the right medical treatment so that I didn’t pop out with fingers growing out the side of my head. Sure, she’s going to get the Mother’s Day treatment tomorrow, but that day in September will always be much more special in my mind.

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I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had my fair share of rocky relationships. Starting with my first relationship, the one with my parents, I’ve had a litany of failed relationships to follow. I’ve also had some highly successful and healthy relationships. Amazingly enough, I’ve even turned some of my rocky relationships into healthy relationships. I’ve been asking myself what altered about me or the people around me to allow these relationships to change for the better. The discovery process has been enjoyable and continues this Sunday @ 6PM Pacific on the Jared and Dean Words Cause Radio Show.

Does a relationship with “the other woman” ever work?
What does a two time Iraqi vet look for in a relationship?
What can a married woman do to keep a relationship spicy after 17 years of marriage? What about the man?
How can a single man improve his chances of not finding the right women?

These are just some of the questions Dean and I will be addressing with our guests on this Sunday’s show. We also have a very special guest on this Sunday who has taken some of the frustrations of the single life and dating scene and turned them into a very Big Idea. You don’t want to miss our interview with this amazing entrepreneur!

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• May 12, 2008 -- What Women Want… An Exploration of What Women Want With a Woman Who’s Been Married for 17 Years
• May 15, 2008 -- Man Laws and Dudeology
• May 15, 2008 -- California Legalizes Gay Marriage
• May 13, 2008 -- Radio Show Highlights 5/11/08
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• April 25, 2008 -- Dance Made Easy with Womentrepreneur Christine Schambera
• April 17, 2008 -- Womentrepreneurs: Health Care Leaders
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• April 4, 2008 -- Excess, Dependance and the Economy: The “Pussification” of the Suburban Male

There are numerous SPAM blocking solutions out there. Businesses with considerable access and use of their own email server are likely best served by a Barracuda SPAM Firewall. I have this at my office, and it does a great job integrating with our email solution and reducing the quantity of SPAM emails everyone receives each day.

But for most people, we have personal email systems that are provided as a service such as Gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL, amongst scores of others. All of these systems have SPAM control systems in place, but they still don’t block all of the SPAM. For instance, I have an account at Yahoo, yet I receive regular emails from a company called Fanbox.

Some how, Fanbox is able to continue to deliver emails into my Inbox despite the considerable amount of obvious SPAM that they send me every day. Since March 27, 2008, I have received 15 emails from “members” of Fanbox who have “asked me questions” or “wanted to be my fan”. Some days, such as March 30 and April 1, Fanbox must have been feeling pretty lucky! They sent me two SPAMs on each of these two days.

I’ve posted several articles about Fanbox SPAM, and based upon the sheer volume of traffic going to these articles, I’m not the only one with SPAM concerns about Fanbox. So, what is the best way to block SPAM from companies like Fanbox? After all, they are sending SPAM but still ending up in my Yahoo inbox.

The best SPAM blocker for your personal email account is really good email protection practices. Something that is great about all the email service providers is that you get these email accounts for free. Use this to your advantage. For example, my Yahoo account is used for most of my public usage. If leave a comment on a blog: Yahoo account. If I register for a website somewhere: Yahoo account. If I fill out a form at an event I go to: Yahoo account. If a friend of mine wants to email me: Yahoo account.

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How are they captive? Most of the customers are likely Chevron gas card holders and a substantial portion of those card holders buying gasoline from University Chevron are University of California Santa Barbara students whose parents pay the bill.

I was so shocked, that I actually got out of my car and asked a few customers why they are paying $0.53 more per gallon at University Chevron than at the stations just down the street. One customer told me, “I use the Chevron card and its close to school.” Another told me that she doesn’t pay attention. Her parents pay the bill. I can only think of a very few reasons someone would be willing to pay such a premium for gas that is the same as the one down the street.

I imagine people also buy gas from Chevron because of their rebate cards. Don’t count on those rebate cards to off set the higher prices. Chevron and other gas companies play tricks with “rebates cards.” Claiming up to 6%, but most of these programs ratchet down to 1 or 2% after 30 to 90 days. The idea of the rebate makes people feel they are getting a deal, but in reality, they are buying gas a much higher price that average (even with the rebate).

Sure, businesses should be able to charge whatever prices they see fit and let the market drive competition, but University Chevron in little Goleta California is ripping its customers off and they should not get away with it. Do we need any more upword pressure on gas prices? Let University Chevron know how you feel! Here is the contact information for the station:

• University Chevron
• 6895 Hollister AveGoleta, CA
• 93117
• (805) 968-2811

‎

~DK

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